Do you know why your Gemini friend can’t keep a secret, or why that Scorpio in your life always seems to be plotting something? Well, we have the answers. Let’s get into the wonderful world of each star sign and why they might be just a little sus.
1. Aries
You can’t trust them because they’ll promise you the moon and stars in a moment of enthusiasm, only to forget about it five minutes later when something shinier catches their eye. They’re not lying, per se—they genuinely meant it when they said they’d help you move next weekend! But come Saturday, they’re more likely to be spontaneously skydiving than hauling your couch up five flights of stairs.
2. Taurus
Taurus folks are reliable, right? Well, yes… until they’re not. They’ll keep your secrets, sure, but they’ll also keep holding that grudge from 2015 when you forgot their half-birthday. Plus, can you really trust someone who thinks “treat yourself” is a valid excuse for maxing out your shared credit card on luxury bath products?
3. Gemini
Where do we even start? You can’t trust a Gemini because you never know which Gemini you’re going to get. Will it be the one who swore to keep your secret or the one who’s already texting it to the group chat? They don’t mean to be untrustworthy, they just can’t help sharing every juicy tidbit they come across. Trusting a Gemini with sensitive information is kinda pointless, sorry.
4. Cancer
Surely we can trust sweet Cancer, right? Wrong! They’re playing 4D chess with your emotions while you’re still trying to set up the checkers board. They’ll remember every little thing you’ve ever done wrong and store it away for future guilt trips. Plus, their mood swings are so wild, you never know if you’re getting a warm hug or a cold shoulder. It might be sunny now, but pack an umbrella just in case.
5. Leo
You can’t trust them because everything—and I mean everything—is about them. You got a promotion? They’ll find a way to make it about that time they won a participation trophy in third grade. They just genuinely believe that the world revolves around them. Trusting a Leo to put someone else first is theoretically possible but against their very nature.
6. Virgo
Reliable, organized Virgo will judge your every move with the intensity of an overbearing parent. Sure, they’ll help you color-code your closet, but they’ll also be secretly appalled at your sock-folding technique. They just can’t help holding everyone to their impossibly high standards. Trusting a Virgo not to find fault is a losing game.
7. Libra
Libras are so busy trying to make everyone happy that they forget to have opinions of their own. They’ll agree with you wholeheartedly, then turn around and agree just as enthusiastically with someone who has the exact opposite view. They’re not trying to be two-faced, they just want everyone to get along!
8. Scorpio
You can’t trust them because they trust no one, which paradoxically makes them untrustworthy. They’re always three steps ahead—they’re not trying to be untrustworthy, they just believe that knowledge is power and they want ALL the power. A Scorpio might keep your secrets, but they’ll without a doubt use them to their advantage.
9. Sagittarius
You can’t trust a Sagittarius because they’re allergic to commitment. They’ll make plans with you for next week, then suddenly remember they have a burning desire to go bungee jumping in New Zealand. They’re not trying to be flaky, they just value their freedom above all else. Trusting a Sagittarius to stick to a plan isn’t the smartest move.
10. Capricorn
Capricorns are always looking for the angle, the edge, the way to get ahead. They’ll be your best friend… right up until befriending someone else becomes more advantageous. They’re not intentionally being cutthroat, they just have their eyes firmly on the prize. Trusting a Capricorn to put friendship before ambition? Good luck.
11. Aquarius
Half the time, Aqaurians aren’t even on the same planet as the rest of us. They’ll forget your birthday, but remember to tell you about that obscure conspiracy theory they just read about. They’re not trying to be unreliable, they’re just more interested in saving humanity as a whole than remembering individual coffee orders.
12. Pisces
And finally, you can’t trust Pisces because they’re barely tethered to reality as it is. They’ll sincerely promise to help you move, then completely forget because they were lost in a fantasy about being a mermaid. That’s because they have a very tenuous grasp of the concept of time and responsibility.